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I've just been shaking my head over and over again for the last ten minutes. I just got back to my room from the Rio....after a long 12 hours. It was exciting, frustrating, exhilirating, maddening, heart pounding.... and very, very unfortunate. I was down to 1700 hundred in chips right before the dinner break and in the two hours after break I had run it up to 28k. FINALLY I had some chips in a big tourney... and 90 minutes later I was out. I could rehash the details but I'm not big on sticking daggers all over my body. I can't.... at least not right now. I really don't know... I don't know about this game...is it right to love something so much one minute and despise it the next? When I walked out of the Amazon Room after the final blow tonight, I honestly almost cried... it would have been the first time in quite a while, but I was just SO emotionally invested in the day, in the trip, in the whole experience. I really felt that this one was it, I was finally going to make a deep run in a huge tourney. It's just so dispiriting that it didn't happen. I still can't believe that I'm here in my room and not finishing up my day with all of those chips, then packing them up for tomorrow. They'll probably finish with about 700 people total, with 620 or something getting paid. God dammit.... it really is a sick, sick game. I love that it's so imperfect, but I hate it too. I hate it that sometimes great play gets punished. I hate it that it toys with your emotions like a yo yo. I hate it that people won't understand how well I played today... because all I can really say is that I lost. And I hate it that I'm here by myself. I'm not upset about it at all, and have enjoyed myself for the most part.... it's just that all through the day, and especially right now, I could use a friend. A shoulder. A laugh. Because I'm hurting...